I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
