Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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