We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my sisters under your porch take her home
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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