it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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