I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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