So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
