That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
