I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize