..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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