i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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