I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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