I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
