I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
