i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
