Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize