Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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