I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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