That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
