but the lizard people decide everything anyway
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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