the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
too bad you live with your parents still
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
