I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
