The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
