yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im holly from the hills drunk
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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