there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
