these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
