how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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