if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
