Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
