worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
