The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize