Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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