hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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