i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
