that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
