I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
