dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think i just lost a toe
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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