You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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