My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
