Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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