I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
