We need to rekindle our bromance
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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