I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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