I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
