I skipped work to stalk him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
