A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
