She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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