i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
