don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
