RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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