that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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