My first STD was from a foam party
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
