actually, I'm a sock model
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
