There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
