This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
