youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
