When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
