This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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