Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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