she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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