I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
