he was CRYING into my vagina
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
