I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
