she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
