she told me i tasted like america
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
