i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
