I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
