I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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