sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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